I'M POSTING AGAIN!

It's true! You can find the posts here or at www.myspace.com/pamelafurr

I will copy some of my recent posts here. ENJOY!! And thanks for listening to the show.

(from October 7Th)
HIS NAME WAS *BILLY

I haven't blogged in FOREVER. Life kinda took over and I failed to keep a log of it. But the book EAT, PRAY, LOVE has inspired me and I'm back to keeping track.

So welcome to all of you who enjoy reading thoughts from other folks. Just a warning, you'll probably hear some of this on my radio show too. (*plug alert* listen weekdays from 3p - 6p on 970 WMAY in Springfield, IL or streaming live at http://www.wmay.com/)

Can I tell you something? Something happened this week that I believe has changed my life. And it only took 19 years.

Let me explain. (names have been changed to protect the guy -- who is also a myspacer/blog reader) His name was *BILLY. He was 23 and I was 17. He was cute. He was funny. He was a lead singer and bass player in a band. Just my type!! He was my friend and I LOVED him. I mean, I really loved that boy. I mean, he was probably the first man I EVER loved. He lived in Arkansas and I lived in NC. I would fly to Arkansas from time to time to hang with him..and he'd come to NC to hang with me. We talked on the phone until all hours of the night.. and we even recorded a song I wrote together. We were close. AND I LOVED HIM.

But he didn't love me. And one day I discovered it the hard way. I discovered it by finding he and another friend of mine in bed together. (did I add that it was in my house??) I knew then that *Billy didn't love me. And it hurt. I was crushed. I was devastated. And I lost my best friend.

Fast forward a few years. I moved to Nashville and *Billy moved to Nashville. We reconnected after two years of total disconnect, but things weren't the same. He was engaged to someone and I was working on my career.

Fast forward a few years. *Billy is married with children and I'm a part-time talk show host. We reconnect when he calls the show, but lose touch again when I move to Springfield, IL.

Fast forward to Thursday night. *Billy and I reconnect again catching up on life. He has FOUR children now and I'm still working on my career. But for the first time in 19 years *Billy says something to me that he had never said.

"I'm sorry." "I'm sorry, Pamela, that I hurt you."

WOW. WOW. Of course, I had forgiven him a long time ago. Forgiven him for not loving me...but to hear "I'm sorry" after all that time... WOW. It was powerful. In fact, so powerful, that I felt the weight of old baggage literally lift from my body. You see, I know that what happened between *Billy and I had a direct effect on EVERY relationship I've EVER had.

So to hear "I'm sorry" from that man. WOW. I think it showed me that no matter what... no matter how good a person is, or how bad a person is, when they've hurt someone, they know it.

Now I'm not saying that what happened 19 years ago was something that ate at the soul of *Billy, but he knew he hurt me. And he's known it all this time. To finally say it probably had an effect on him. (I know it did). And to hear it...it was powerful.

I don't know if there's a moral to the story. I just hope that I NEVER underestimate the power of those words. I hope that I don't wait 19 years before I say them to someone I've hurt.

For me, I pray I'm the girl that says it as quickly as possible..and forgives even faster.

Shout outs today go to Gina, Tracy and Joel. JOEL, JOEL, JOEL. We were on hiatus, but are back to being friends. See ya next week, friend!