Sunday, August 21, 2005

IT MUST BE A GIRL THING

I'm in total "chick movie" mode. I'm waiting for the final - FINAL - episode of Six Feet Under and the movie SOMETHING'S GOTTA GIVE with Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson is on the ol' television.

She's is sooo brilliant in this movie. Here's a woman who is not exactly a young thing, but honey she is in her prime!!

So there's this scene where she and Jack break up (Harry is his character in the movie). She just sobs for weeks and weeks. I MEAN SOBS. But she (as a writer in the movie) creates some of her best work through the experience.

I can't help but laugh everytime I see this scene. I HAVE SOOOO BEEN THERE!! I remember a time when this handsome young man broke my heart into a million different pieces about 10 years ago. His name was Craig (i'll leave off the last name just in case he ever visits the blog). I remember being so overwhelmed with sorrow. It's true, I'm a drama queen.

I remember laying face down on the floor in front of my fireplace at my little townhouse in Hendersonville, TN. I remember taking my fists and beating the floor with them over and over again. "WHY GOD - WHY???" HOURS WENT BY...I do mean hours. I sobbed out loud for hours. Isn't that silly? Over a guy?

But the pain was very real.

And suddenly this song just poured out of my soul. I'll admit, not the best lyric ever; but a very real lyric for me at the time. Imagine the sound of an old Appalachian hymn ... and these words:

My heart is a barren land
Blown away like grains of sand
Sweet Jesus come and rescue me
And lead me on to the water flowing freely...

Roll on, river, roll on
Roll on, river, roll on
Sweet water flow
And quench my thirsty soul
Roll on, river, roll on.

Sometimes I lose my way
And I can't go on another day
Sweet Jesus show me where to turn
And quench this fire, Lord, that burns...

The song was recorded a year later.

I guess the moral of the story is this. I remember the pain, the sobbing, and the bruises on my hands from beating the floor. But out of that misery came a little song. And out of that little song has come a connection between the wounds of my heart and people I've never even met whose hearts are breaking right now.

Thank you, Craig..I'll never forget you.




1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Pam - the best part of the Nickleson/Keaton movie is that Keanu Reeves was taken with ol' Diane during the filming, went on to a sweet, young thing, changed his mind and now(according to the rags that I read in line at the grocery store and in our office breakroom)Diane and Keanu are a HOT ITEM! Yeh for us old ladies!!!!!

8/22/05, 10:18 PM  

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