GOSPEL MUSIC FAT ASSES
I want to preface this blog posting with this disclaimer. I AM A FAT ASS. I am bigger now than I've ever been. This is disappointing and depressing. I look terrible and I feel terrible. I'm embarrassed to go out in public sometimes around people who knew me when I was hot. But I am determined to change that. I say that a lot, and one day I'm going to mean it. I've got a trip to Barcelona riding on it, not to mention my self esteem and my health.
THAT BEING SAID...
OH MY GOD!!! What happened to Southern Gospel Music? Where did all the fat asses come from?
I am just getting settled into my new home in Huntsville, Alabama, and I've actually had a moment today to go through my cable channels to see what my $100.00 per month is paying for. I've got the Military Channel & the Pentagon Channel.. this interests me greatly. I've got all kinds of Discovery Channels and News Channels. YES! And to my surprise, I've got the Gospel Music Channel. WOW! The Gospel Music Channel. I didn't know there was a Gospel Music Channel.
And of course, what do I discover? A GATHER HOMECOMING VIDEO. I didn't know he was still making those.
I will also say, I don't know how old this one was...
But here goes... WHERE DID ALL THE FAT ASSES COME FROM? Holy moly. I'm not joking. Everywhere you turn double chins and swollen ankles.
I ask you what happened? And I have to wonder if Howard Goodman is in heaven right now laughing his celestial fat ass off at all the people that used to make fun of him AND his family all those years for their weight. Karma may be at play here.
And then there's B roll footage of behind-the-scene looks at the fat asses eating the catered food Bill Gaither has brought in. NO WONDER THEY'RE ALL waddling up to the microphone every night. Good Lord!!
Okay, it's time for an intervention. There's no sense in all these God-fearing talented people to be that fat. It doesn't look good. It can't feel good. The next Homecoming Tour should be called the HEART ATTACK EXPRESS. Think about it. If Gaither started a weight loss program for his aging gospel music stars, caught it all on tape, and sold those.. he'd make ANOTHER fortune. I've got it. The Gospel Music Channel's new reality show. THE BIGGEST LOSER - HOMECOMING STYLE.
You heard it here first, folks, from a FAT ASS.
THAT BEING SAID...
OH MY GOD!!! What happened to Southern Gospel Music? Where did all the fat asses come from?
I am just getting settled into my new home in Huntsville, Alabama, and I've actually had a moment today to go through my cable channels to see what my $100.00 per month is paying for. I've got the Military Channel & the Pentagon Channel.. this interests me greatly. I've got all kinds of Discovery Channels and News Channels. YES! And to my surprise, I've got the Gospel Music Channel. WOW! The Gospel Music Channel. I didn't know there was a Gospel Music Channel.
And of course, what do I discover? A GATHER HOMECOMING VIDEO. I didn't know he was still making those.
I will also say, I don't know how old this one was...
But here goes... WHERE DID ALL THE FAT ASSES COME FROM? Holy moly. I'm not joking. Everywhere you turn double chins and swollen ankles.
I ask you what happened? And I have to wonder if Howard Goodman is in heaven right now laughing his celestial fat ass off at all the people that used to make fun of him AND his family all those years for their weight. Karma may be at play here.
And then there's B roll footage of behind-the-scene looks at the fat asses eating the catered food Bill Gaither has brought in. NO WONDER THEY'RE ALL waddling up to the microphone every night. Good Lord!!
Okay, it's time for an intervention. There's no sense in all these God-fearing talented people to be that fat. It doesn't look good. It can't feel good. The next Homecoming Tour should be called the HEART ATTACK EXPRESS. Think about it. If Gaither started a weight loss program for his aging gospel music stars, caught it all on tape, and sold those.. he'd make ANOTHER fortune. I've got it. The Gospel Music Channel's new reality show. THE BIGGEST LOSER - HOMECOMING STYLE.
You heard it here first, folks, from a FAT ASS.
posted by Pamela Furr at
1:27 PM
2 Comments:
Pamela, I love how you always talk about the elephant (or elephants) in the room. Big kiss!
Interesting topic. I picked it up through averyfineline. I left a note there (Ted) about my experience with a GG concert at the Happy Gospel Center in Palmetto Fl.
Humor is used in the evangelical community in dealing with weight.
Its cathartic and therapeutic. Pamela, feels bad about her weight. She needs to let it out, and that's OK! She took alot of heat from the Pharisee types (I know them, I was brought up Baptist). All I can say is "you GO Girl" lose a few pounds, do lots of walking, thats what I do. I can listen to talk radio on my XM while I'm walking.
I have never heard her talk show (I live in Toronto), will try to connect via the internet.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home